Monday, 6 July 2015

Do you agree that happiness is a choice?



Cyndi Jones (not real names) is a clear picture of what every woman would love to be. What with her enviable job, good looks, comfortable lifestyle and a very caring, handsome and wealthy husband who made sure she had whatever money could buy and pampered her to no end. Little wonder she was devastated immediately after her 35th birthday when her dear husband passed on leaving her to cater for three little children. Her world literally collapsed and the pall of gloom and loneliness overshadowed her. Without asking for it her once vibrant, vivacious lifestyle transformed overnight to a sullen, unhappy and lonesome life.

Stella was a Branch Manager in one of the third generation banks who was committed and was actually doing well or so she thought until she lost her means of livelihood and withdrew into a shell, becoming a shadow of her former self. She allowed the circumstance to get to her to the extent she lost the will to live.

The two scenarios above are not new to us because people suffer one loss or the other at different times in their lives. The period following is usually very difficult to deal with and if not properly handled, could lead to an unwholesome end.

The dictionary says that 'happiness is the agreeable sensations which spring from enjoyment of pleasure without pain'. The question is: who determines your happiness? Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy or otherwise. Your state of mind determines your outlook in life and the approach you will take in handling issues. I dare say that your circumstances notwithstanding, stand straight and have a life. Life is for the living and make sure you live it to the fullest. No one moves forward with a foot stuck in the past. 

Depending on your parents, spouse, children or relatives to make you happy is laughable because you would be surprised to know that your happiness does not depend on them. You would be living in misery should you believe otherwise. Engage your mind in profitable ventures and shake off the gloom from your life. This will not only guarantee you some level of joy but will keep you away from stressful situations.

Life is full of choices. God through Moses gave the Israelites some choices to make but at the end of it all in his infinite mercy advised them to choose life. King David the man after God’s heart at a time was faced with a hopeless situation when his family and others were carried away and his city burnt but we were told that he encouraged himself in the Lord. You could do better because the same God is still out there waiting for you to be bold enough to trust Him for bigger things. 

When life gets sour and unpleasant, laugh it off. The ability to laugh in the face of adversity and trials is the hallmark of a champion. I have learnt a long time ago not to cut off the nose to spite the face.

Precious lost her husband of 15 years at the age of 39. Family and friends thought she had come to her wits end because they were really an item but the young lady resolved to stay afloat. Several months after the demise of her husband, she brushed everything aside, got a grip on herself and moved on knowing full well that the well-being of her six children depended on how she handled the situation. 

What about friends you are wont to ask? You must be joking! Believe it or not, when trouble strikes you are left to handle the ‘dirty’ stuff alone. When you are down you are despised, so do not delude yourself with the notion that friends will always be there. The only ones who will stick with you are those who may be in the same situation as you or some family members who couldn’t just walk away. 

Allowing someone else determine the pace of your life is not only worrisome but an admittance of weakness, lack of faith in your abilities and a total disregard for the love of God.

It may not be easy but you can do it. Choose to be happy today. Sadly enough whether or not you are, the problem will not go away but will bring in its wake several others as the days go by, so why not be smart and take a plunge into the future. Hey, there is no law against happiness and nobody can berate you for being ‘too happy’. When you learn how to laugh off your challenges, you’ll discover a lot of weight is lifted off your shoulders. Never take life too seriously peradventure you leave the scene prematurely, the beat goes on. Even if your expectation has fallen short of what you imagined, don’t feel sorry for yourself or blame others for your shortcoming. You can still contribute your quota to making the world a better place for others after you to enjoy.

The lament of unhappiness is one of the common anthems of our time. When you are unhappy, you become the centre of your own attention. Samuel Shoemaker said, ‘we are lonely not because we are not loved, but because we do not love’.

The scripture tells us to ‘put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness’. Most of the time, unhappy people are very selfish. They feel unable to love. Have you tried being a blessing to someone else? It is time you concentrated less on you and got away from ‘me, myself and I’ syndrome. If you make up your mind each day and decide to be a blessing to people, your life will take on a new meaning. Someone rightly said the city of happiness is in the state of the mind.

By changing the goal of your heart, you will free yourself from the gloom of unhappiness, experience joy unspeakable and full of glory and God will use your life to bless many others. 

Happiness is a by-product of life. It comes as a result of living actively and unselfishly. It comes from a conscious effort to be happy irrespective of one’s feelings or circumstances. The question is, are you willing to change; are you willing to do what you have to do to help yourself to a better life? You can make a change today and turn your life around.

Every change is difficult but you can do it. Do not stay with the status quo, make a detour and downplay the urge to stay in your current state. ‘Going through change is hard but staying in bondage is even more difficult’, says Joyce Meyer.

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