Cyndi Jones (not real
names) is a clear picture of what every woman would love to be. What with her
enviable job, good looks, comfortable lifestyle and a very caring, handsome and
wealthy husband who made sure she had whatever money could buy and pampered her
to no end. Little wonder she was devastated immediately after her 35th
birthday when her dear husband passed on leaving her to cater for three little
children. Her world literally collapsed and the pall of gloom and loneliness overshadowed
her. Without asking for it her once vibrant, vivacious lifestyle transformed
overnight to a sullen, unhappy and lonesome life.
Stella was a Branch
Manager in one of the third generation banks who was committed and was actually
doing well or so she thought until she lost her means of livelihood and
withdrew into a shell, becoming a shadow of her former self. She allowed the
circumstance to get to her to the extent she lost the will to live.
The two scenarios above
are not new to us because people suffer one loss or the other at different
times in their lives. The period following is usually very difficult to deal
with and if not properly handled, could lead to an unwholesome end.
The dictionary says that 'happiness is the agreeable sensations which spring from enjoyment of pleasure
without pain'. The question is: who determines your happiness? Happiness is a
choice. You can choose to be happy or otherwise. Your state of mind determines
your outlook in life and the approach you will take in handling issues. I dare
say that your circumstances notwithstanding, stand straight and have a
life. Life is for the living and make sure you live it to the fullest. No one
moves forward with a foot stuck in the past.
Depending on your parents,
spouse, children or relatives to make you happy is laughable because you would
be surprised to know that your happiness does not depend on them. You would be
living in misery should you believe otherwise. Engage your mind in profitable
ventures and shake off the gloom from your life. This will not only guarantee
you some level of joy but will keep you away from stressful situations.
Life is full of choices.
God through Moses gave the Israelites some choices to make but at the end of it
all in his infinite mercy advised them to choose life. King David the man after
God’s heart at a time was faced with a hopeless situation when his family and
others were carried away and his city burnt but we were told that he encouraged
himself in the Lord. You could do better because the same God is still out
there waiting for you to be bold enough to trust Him for bigger things.
When life gets sour and
unpleasant, laugh it off. The ability to laugh in the face of adversity and
trials is the hallmark of a champion. I have learnt a long time ago not to cut
off the nose to spite the face.
Precious lost her husband
of 15 years at the age of 39. Family and friends thought she had come to
her wits end because they were really an item but the young lady resolved to
stay afloat. Several months after the demise of her husband, she brushed
everything aside, got a grip on herself and moved on knowing full well that the well-being of her six children depended on how she handled the situation.
What about friends you are
wont to ask? You must be joking! Believe it or not, when trouble strikes you
are left to handle the ‘dirty’ stuff alone. When you are down you are despised,
so do not delude yourself with the notion that friends will always be there. The
only ones who will stick with you are those who may be in the same situation as
you or some family members who couldn’t just walk away.
Allowing
someone else determine the pace of your life is not only worrisome but an
admittance of weakness, lack of faith in your abilities and a total disregard
for the love of God.
It may not be easy but you
can do it. Choose to be happy today. Sadly enough whether or not you are, the
problem will not go away but will bring in its wake several others as the days
go by, so why not be smart and take a plunge into the future. Hey, there is no
law against happiness and nobody can berate you for being ‘too happy’. When you
learn how to laugh off your challenges, you’ll discover a lot of weight is
lifted off your shoulders. Never take life too seriously peradventure you leave
the scene prematurely, the beat goes on. Even if your expectation has fallen
short of what you imagined, don’t feel sorry for yourself or blame others for
your shortcoming. You can still contribute your quota to making the world a
better place for others after you to enjoy.
The lament of unhappiness
is one of the common anthems of our time. When you are unhappy, you become the centre
of your own attention. Samuel Shoemaker said, ‘we are lonely not because we are
not loved, but because we do not love’.
The scripture tells us to ‘put on the
garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness’. Most of the time, unhappy
people are very selfish. They feel unable to love. Have you tried being a
blessing to someone else? It is time you concentrated less on you and got away
from ‘me, myself and I’ syndrome. If you make up your mind each day and decide
to be a blessing to people, your life will take on a new meaning. Someone
rightly said the city of happiness is in the state of the mind.
By changing the goal of
your heart, you will free yourself from the gloom of unhappiness, experience
joy unspeakable and full of glory and God will use your life to bless many
others.
Happiness is a by-product
of life. It comes as a result of living actively and unselfishly. It comes from
a conscious effort to be happy irrespective of one’s feelings or circumstances.
The question is, are you willing to change; are you willing to do what you have
to do to help yourself to a better life? You can make a change today and turn
your life around.
Every change is difficult
but you can do it. Do not stay with the status quo, make a detour and downplay
the urge to stay in your current state. ‘Going through change is hard but
staying in bondage is even more difficult’, says Joyce Meyer.
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